July 12 is Cow Appreciation Day.

I thought this was a legitimate holiday when I started working on this post, but it turns out it’s just a Chick Fil-A promotion where they are giving a free meal to anyone who comes to the eatery fully dressed as a cow. And I’m boycotting Chick Fil-A because of the company president’s public stance against same-sex marriage. If I wear a cow costume, I’m going to wear it to my gay wedding. So there.

But there’s no reason to take it out on the cows, so I’m going through with this post anyway.

You might not think of cows as elegant creatures—but then you just haven’t been hanging out with the right cows. Take the Cowntess on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, for example. With her pearls and tiara, she is the very picture of style and grace. Below, watch her stop by the playhouse “to chew the cud,” entering with her trademark greeting, “Moo hoo!” She helpfully gives dating tips to Cowboy Curtis, played by none other than Larence Fishburne.

The Cowntess gives dating tips to Cowboy Curtis at 16:46, Pee Wee’s Playhouse (Nov. 15, 1986)

Here are some more elegant cows, this time on The Muppet Show. Hear Aunt Melba’s Guernsey Cotillion sing “Elegance” from Hello, Dolly!  “All who are well-bred agree that us girls got pedigree!”

Aunt Melba’s Guernsey Cotillion sings “Elegance,” The Muppet Show (Oct. 27, 1979)

Cows don’t pass judgment. They may pass methane, but not judgment. They deserve our appreciation. Thank you, elegant creatures.

Related articles

• Cow Appreciation Day Protests Underway in Florida (Advocate.com)
• Chick-Fil-A Attempts Damage Control After Latest Dan Cathy Tweet On Gay Marriage (The Global Dispatch)