May 13 is National Fruit Cocktail Day. It also happens to be Mother’s Day this year, so why not show Mom some love by serving her some delicious fruit cocktail? She’ll be sure to thank you. Or else she’ll say, “After all I’ve done for you, that’s all you’re giving me, you ungrateful wretch?”

For your enjoyment, here’s a 1967 commercial for Libby’s Low Calorie Fruits, featuring pre-M*A*S*H McLean Stevenson. These fruits are “so good, even sugar-lovin’ kids dig ’em,” says Stevenson, holding up a can of low-cal fruit cocktail while the child actors barely contain their smirks.

Libby’s Low-Calorie Fruits commercial featuring McLean Stevenson (1967)

Can we just talk about this concept of low-calorie fruit for a moment? They took something that was fine to begin with (fruit), added something gross and unhealthy (sugary syrup), and then removed half of the undesirable ingredient and marketed it as something new and innovative. Is that brilliant, evil, or both? And this product still survives in the form of Libby’s Skinny Tropical Fruit Salad.

Here’s another commercial from the ’60s for a similar product, starring another actor whose career blossomed in the ’70s. Behold Dabney Coleman for Diet Delight. He’s pretty concerned about what all that canned fruit will do to his waistline. Did men in the 1960s really worry about that?

Diet Delight commercial with Dabney Coleman (1960s)

So on this special day, enjoy some fruit cocktail with your mother, and make sure it’s low-calorie so you don’t ruin your waistline!