What’s soft and squeezable, and you wipe your butt with it?

Happy National Toilet Paper Day

These bears are cute, but they are not Mr. Whipple.

August 26 is National Toilet Paper Day.

Did you know that the average person spends three years on the toilet over a lifetime? Or that 49% of people choose toilet paper as the necessity they would want if stranded on a desert island? Find these and other fun facts in the Toilet Paper Encyclopedia. (Take that, Britannica!)

Toilet paper commercials can be pretty silly, and Charmin’s long-running “Mr. Whipple” commercials were among the silliest. From 1964 to 1985, character actor Dick Wilson¬†played the officious supermarket manager who chastised customers for squeezing the Charmin and then surreptitiously¬†did so himself. We viewers delighted in seeing Mr. Whipple’s hypocrisy exposed, in the same way we enjoy the public shaming of a disgraced politician or religious leader. Mr. Whipple appeared in 504 of these commercials.

Below, watch customers flout Mr. Whipple’s rules as they squeeze, sniff, and generally show adoration for the Charmin. Usually, if I coo over something and shower it with affection, I don’t go wiping my ass with it later. But that’s just me.

“Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” commercial featuring Mr. Whipple (1960s)

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